This is the weight lifting workout I will be doing for this week. As always modify to your abilities. The weights I put in are for my reference so I can keep track of my progress
If you made a new years resolution and are having a hard time keeping it up. Be kind to yourself. I don’t think resolutions are the best way to go about this. This is a journey and you are going to be on it for the rest of your life. Pick up and keep going. Even if you hit a bump. I have been talking to my friends and they feel guilty that they stopped something they started for two weeks. Guilt may just make you pause to inaction. That is not positive forward movement. Don’t let one misstep derail your life change.
| The Ultimate Full-Body Workout | (I got most of the workout from Bodybuilding.com)
Warm-Up: Perform 1 Round
10 minutes on the elliptical
Dumbbell Halo: 10 reps in both directions
Standing Dumbbell Reverse Fly: 10 reps
Standing Dumbbell Scap Raise: 10 reps
Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift: 10 reps
Dumbbell Goblet Squat: 10 reps
Planks for 30 seconds
Complex 1: Perform 5 rounds, resting 60-90 sec. between rounds
Dumbbell Clean: 3 reps 20 lbs each arm
Dumbbell Push Press: 3 reps 25 lbs each arm
Dumbbell Front Squat: 3 reps 20 lbs each arm
Complex 2: Perform 4 rounds, resting 60 sec. between rounds
Dumbbell Crush Press from Floor: 10 reps per leg 50 lbs
Bent-Over Row: 10 reps 3 25 lbs per arm
Reverse Lunge: 10 reps per leg 25 lbs per arm
Complex 3: Perform all movements with right arm, then left arm, resting 60 sec. between.
Keep up the good work. If you had a hiccup keep be kind to yourself and keep going. Remember its a journey not a race. But you can’t make any progress unless you keep trying.
Again if you have made it this far, thank you for reading. Talk to me, let me know if you have any questions.
Kali a.k.a Escrima and or Arnis. Is a Filipino martial art. During the Spanish occupation of the Philippines, this martial art was disguised as practicing a stick dance. The Spanish Conquistadors in the 1500’s did not want to have the people they occupied teaching and learning a martial arts.
In Kali we focus on the ability to transition from weapons to open hand combat with fluidity. Kali very much believes that open hand combat uses the same moves as having weapons so both are learned and taught congruently. We learn single stick, double stick, sword and stick, and dagger.
Part of the reason it melts my brain is that forces me to use both sides of my brain. What we learn on the one hand we will learn on the other. So I am right handed and we may learn something like say, the Running Saint Rafael on the right side, but to do the whole thing you have to do it on the left side all together. Making the left side of my body do what I want it to do can and often does melt my brain a bit.
I can say it is getting better, and the more I learn the better it gets. However, Kali class is right after Muay Thai, and my body is usually tired from Muay Thai and then I ask my body and mind to figure out how to move it around and not hit myself with the sticks. I have hit myself, and it sucks, but I am still here and alive. I still love Kali, and love learning it.
I have included a video of me doing the Running Saint Rafael. I am not very good at it, but I am learning, and hopefully getting better. N
I look like a hot mess after a workout. I have never been that kind of girl that can look like she just left a salon after a hard workout.
Workout: 2 hours and 20 mins of Muay Thai and Kali.
We worked on Jab and to left kick transitions, and jab cross to left kick transitions. Smoothness and quickness of transition is important. Your opponent will not have the time to react and or will not see it coming if you do it fast enough. We were working on the basics of Muay Thai and It’s was amazing to see the changes I have made. I can see some of my improvements in the art. What was once hard to just get my body to do I am am able to do and hoping to get tiny changes in form to stick so that I am able to get power in. You see in Muay Thai if you try to force/muscle the move your kicks for instance will be slow and not powerful. If you focus on form and laying the kick in using all of your torso it will be more powerful and devastating in a fight. The move almost becomes effortless. I say almost cause after a ladder of kicks ( 1 kick then 2 kicks up to 5 kicks in a row then back down again to 1) that is gassing. But much less so than when I first started out. Thank you Kru Kristen DeBruycker.
In Kali we had a guest instructor called Inchun Kim. He was an amazing instructor and he taught us some great movement with intention. Not just hitting sticks but focusing on hitting with the intention to hurt, maim, and damage. Where some drills we tap the sticks he wanted us to change our intent and using foot work advance on our target. I have said it before and I will say it again Kali melts the brain. Especially brain blending when wielding double stick and reverse gripping the stick in left or right hand or both.
I am exhausted and need sleep. First shower and then to bed. Thanks for reading. As always let me know what you think.
Who needs take away when you can make beautiful tacos at home? Remember fitness is a way of life, a journey. So learning how to cook well for yourself is very helpful, and you don’t have to rely on take away.
I am a professional chef, and have a Culinary degree, with a specialization in Baking and Pastry.
This is what I make for my family at home. We love taco night and my kiddos love to eat my tacos. Currently my son and daughter are asking for another taco. He ate three already. I would say that is a good sign. These are all whole foods, and things I know where they came from.
The recipe includes the Pico De Gallo, and ground beef mixture. I have noticed that I have readers from all over the world so I will try to add appropriate measurements where I can to help you out. Some may wonder what a Pico De Gallo is, it is similar to a salsa, however, it is not as liquid and sauce like as a salsa. Pico De Gallo is also very fresh and you can add what you like to it.
I set up a taco bar, and let the kiddos decide what they want on their tacos. They both request all of the toppings. I love that my kiddos will eat lots of veg. Starting good habits early will carry them through life. That is the hope at least.
Pico De Gallo Recipe
Ingredients:
1/2 onion small dice
2 small tomatoes diced or about 25 heirloom cherry tomatoes
1/2 seeded jalapeno
1/2 lemon juiced or a lime
Salt and pepper to taste
2 tbs or Euro 1/2 oz of cilantro chopped – (if you don’t like cilantro leave it out)
Directions:
Dice onions, dice tomatoes, small dice the jalapeno, add all ingredients to bowl. Squeeze lemon over your clean fingers to catch the lemon pips. You want to make sure to add lemon or lime as the acid really will brighten the flavors of your Pico.
Ground Meat Recipe
Ingredients:
1 lb or Euro 454 g of ground beef or I also like ground turkey
1/2 onion diced
1 tbs or Euro 1/4 oz ground cumin
1 clove garlic
1 tsp or Euro 1/4 oz paprika
1/2 tsp or Euro 1/8 oz of cayenne pepper or ground chipotle pepper (add more if you like spicier)
1/2 cup or Euro 4 oz Beef stock or Turkey stock or Vegetable stock to taste
1/2 seeded small diced jalapeno
oil enough to coat bottom of pan
salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Dice the onion and saute on med/high till soft and caramelized, add meat, while it is cooking add spices on top. Brown the meat and cook till thoroughly done. Drain extra fat from pan, and add stock. Taste and add salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a simmer and let simmer for about 5 minutes.
Tips:
I take corn tortillas and toast them over the open gas flame on my stove.
You can add more ingredients to the meat mixture. Granulated/Ground garlic, Cilantro, and ground coriander.
I am going to try to document my Tuesday, sometimes Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday Thai and Kali workouts here.
I just got home from 2 hours of Muay Thai and Kali. In Muay Thai we were working on our transitions from punch to kicks. I am at a point in my training where it’s it’s minute changes that I have to make. Like kick through the person, after kick bring back and keep knee up. Things I have to consciously apply to get my body to do it. I got a compliment on my speed again from a few people and a compliment on my punches to kick transitions from my Kru. Just have to keep knee up.
In Kali we worked on High box, Low box, and Middle box. Double stick is a brain workout. Making your body do the things you need it to do and avoid getting hit is a full time mental activity. My practice partner was talking to me and getting my brain to think other things. To hold a conversation about something completely different to what my sticks were doing was like listening to a skipping record. I had to start and stop my sentences to keep my hands and feet moving. It’s like trying rub your tummy and pat your head. Or for us even less skilled walk and chew gum! 😃
Thank you Kru Kristen DeBruycker, and Kru Krysta Scharlach
As I write this up I notice a bruise blossoming on my foot just now. Lol 😆 I did not even register I might have hit the edge of the Thai pads wrong.
Anyway thanks again for reading and my adventures will continue on. Let me know what you think, what content you are curious about.
Healthy lunches… even when you don’t feel like eating. I have days where I am busy, and can’t/don’t think I have time to eat. I have days were I am just not that hungry. However, I know if I don’t eat I will be hangry later, and may make bad decisions. So its best for me to eat something healthy and protein rich instead. It seems to help and I can then make better decisions. I also know that I am working out a great day 5 to 6 days a week.
Today I am going to go run a 25 minute HIIT run, and then do a superset weight lifting workout.
“A superset is a form of strength training in which you move quickly from one exercise to a separate exercise without taking a break for rest in between the two exercises. ”
We just got home from Muay Thai
practice and Kali, and I can tell you no other sport, or physical activity can
melt my brain faster than Kali.
I sit here after class trying to
type up what I wanted to, and I have a combination of tired body, and exhausted
mind.
So, we worked on sparing in Muay
Thai, where we were learning some of the entries that we could use to get into
the “box” and be able to get our hits in on our opponents. You will
get hit in the face and other parts of the body. This is not negotiable. It happens,
and it teaches you to get your hands up and block, parry, or move (slip/bob and
weave). I got hit twice in the face today. It was not hard, and I am totally
ok. But that makes your body and head tired.
Now after Muay Thai we did Kali.
Kali ask you to use both your right and left brain at the same time. It asks
you to use your right and left hands at the same time. It is both an art and
a… I was going to say science, and while there is science, to it… it’s more
of an art and a deadly dance. A DANGER DANCE!
Anyway, I am rambling on. For today
I did a 30-minute warmup/workout before Muay Thai.
1 minute stretching
200 kicks over a foam roller
100 # 3 knees, which are the side in knees
Then 10 minutes of ladder work to work on foot work and getting faster in my transitions.
One hour of Muay Thai:
We shadowboxed/jumped rope to warm up
We worked on parry jab, while coming in with a jab entry, then getting out of the box.
We worked on outside parry where I slip under the jab and hit a jab into the midsection of my opponent.
We worked on the boxing 20.
We worked on using the entries to get into the box, then a upper cut, hook, and cross, bob and weave to get out
We then worked on sparing and using what we know and have learned to avoid getting hit.
I can tell you I got hit a couple of times, but I am getting more used to it.
1 hour of Kali:
We started with heaven figure 8s then earth figure 8s
We then worked on Running Saint Gabriel, the right side first
We worked on the Running Saint Gabriel right then left
Finally we worked on the heaven box.
I am tired and should go to bed. Its 11:39 pm right and I have to be up at 5:30am tomorrow. This is a bit of a rambling post, but this is what I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. =) If you like hearing about what I am for my workouts let me know. I am still figuring out how often to put out content to my blog.
Also see below, me practicing the Running Saint Gabriel. This is about the 30th time worked through it. I did it about 30 more times till the end of class after this.
I started out life athletic. I was lucky and tried various things, soft ball, volley ball, tennis, swim team, and water polo. I had the traditional tiger mom, that wanted me to have a sport, have straight A’s and play at least one instrument. Tiger Mom: a strict mother, who stereo typically is Asian, rules with an iron fist, pushes her kids to succeed in academics, music, and sports. She uses tough love, strict rules, and discipline to force her children to succeed. What ever bad or good she did, I have a drive to do well, and be the best I can be.
Swimming was what stuck. I loved swimming and the feeling of the water. I loved the feeling of getting better at a skill and seeing it in my competitions and winnings. I loved how my muscles felt after an intense day of training. I loved it all. My strokes were 200-meter Butterfly, and 500-meter Free Style. As you can see I am a distance athlete, and always have been. I swam through part of college and then life happened. I stopped doing it and during my early 20’s I stayed pretty much the same. But always that drive to be the best at everything I do.
Fast forward to 28 and having my first child. I let my body go after stopping swimming. I did not take care of it, and I did not do any exercise. When I was pregnant I was told not to start a new workout routine, and since I had not been doing anything before pregnancy. That meant I could keep my sedentary life. I don’t need to explain that I became soft, my cardio was shit and I did not care because I had my new little one, and another one on the way only 9 months after my first was born.
Fast forward again to 37 and I am 3 years 6 months into my fitness journey. I have been lifting weights as well as running. I feel because I started off as an athlete I was better able to get myself a schedule and set myself goals to strive for, then execute. Repetitions, cardio ladders, burning muscles, and sore delayed onset muscle soreness (D.O.M.S.) is all normal and expected.
My husband the love of my life, an introvert, handsome, amazing father, and
computer geek, that did not do a day of workout in his life. Decided he wanted
to start getting healthier. He started running and about one- or two-months in.
I am not certain the time frame I was not keeping track of his workouts only
mine. He said he was interested in checking out this gym. My curiosity had me
asking 20 questions. Because if it can interest him there had to be something to
it. To my surprise he wanted to try out Muay Thai. I was shocked, and impressed,
and super supportive. I did not have a desire at first to try it. I was squarely
ensconced in my routine of running cardio and Heavy Weight Lifting. I was happy
to have him have something to investigate and look forward to doing.
For two weeks his love for it burned so bright, he would come home buzzing.
Telling me the things he learned, how hard it was, and how even though he was
tired he was so jazzed. I laughed as he went through the learning process, about
gassing, body confusion/muscle confusion, and his D.O.M.S. He would say wow I
did not know it would hurt this much but also how much I just look forward to
doing it. For you see he did not understand why I regularly went to the bench
and did a super set to fatigue and would hurt the next day, then do it again.
There is a high, an adrenaline that you get when doing it and a satisfied
exhaustion that takes over your body when you ask it to do that hard thing and
it comes through.
I was intrigued as to what would get my husband to go and keep wanting to
go. So I decided to check it out. I was hooked after the first class. The
energy in that gym was fantastic. There was no judgement at my inability to do
the things they were asking. Yes, I am strong, yes I can lift heavy weights but
this was a completely different skill set. Asking different things of my muscles.
So now I have been learning/practicing Muay Thai for 9 months. I started
April of 2018. I love it, and I sit here right now slightly sore from last night’s
class and know tomorrow morning I will be a little sorer than I am now. Then I
will go to another class that afternoon and will loosen up and start the muscle
abuse all over again.
What is it like to start Muay Thai, a combat martial art, at the ripe old age of 37?
What is Different:
Frequent
D.O.M.S. – I feel D.O.M.S more frequently
than before. For me I feel it about 24 hours after my workout. It seems for
husband it’s more like 48 hours.
Joints
hurts – When I first started my joints
hurt a lot more now it seems to have evened out.
Stretching
– Stretching is more fundamental to my
survival now, than it was when I was teens to early 20’s. If I don’t stretch
well I will pull a muscle.
Exhaustion
– I am exhausted but still have to deal
with my kids, household chores, and work. =)
Supplements- Pre
workout drinks, B.C.A.A.’s (Branch Chain Amino Acids), and caffeine, are really
helpful.
Muscular Skeletal support – Glucosamine, and Chondroitin are also helpful.
Muscle gain, and weight loss – not as rapid as before.
What is the Same:
The muscle burn is the same at any age – at least for me.
Cardio has bounced back fantastically
D.O.M.S.
seems to resolve itself in the same amount of time as before. – As I mentioned before I will be slightly
sore the day after, late the day after or early morning second day I will be
sore, but it will be a non-issue after second day concludes.
The satisfaction of learning how to move your body, get
it to do what you want.
Tired satisfying exhaustion after an intense workout.
Team comradery
What is New:
Bruises – So many bruises and having to explain to my customers that I am ok and not battered. I did it to myself. I am training in a martial art.
Being amazed at the power of my body at my age.
People being impressed that I am learning this amazing art form.
Confidence – I am surer of my actions, and I know I can handle myself if for some reason an altercation happens.
Coming into myself – you see when I had my kids, they were my world, I did not do anything for myself, and I lost my sense of self. After 9 years I did not know who I was any more. I was their mom. I loved them. But I was not the same as before.
Getting hit, punched in the face, kicked – Not as scary as it was before. Still getting used to it, but much more used to it now.
I would be leaving something out if I did not say that the thought that I am too old to start something like this has not crossed my mind. I worry that maybe people are laughing at me. But then I find myself in the gym, and I forget all that. I am at a place I love, doing something I love. I will keep doing it till I can’t any more.
So yeah, I am much older now than when I was swimming. I let myself go for a while but decided one day to pick up the reigns and untangle all this mess. I have a family, and a rich full life. I have a hobby? No… A sport?… Maybe… I have a new love, and it is Muay Thai. I am growing and learning and will continue to do so. At this point in my training I am third prajioud or armband/orange armband. (Armbands are similar to belt system in many other martial arts.) That means I have passed three tests. The armbands have a tradition of being given to the fighters for good luck. Now we are honored to have our Kru give it to us. I have risen in the ranks. I have surpassed some of my fellow gym mates. I am amazed that I have gotten this far. I will keep going and keep learning. I will…
Thank you for reading this far again. I am amazed anyone reads my blog. I
started this blog just as a place to put my thoughts down. I seem to be able to
unpack everything inside my head when I put it on paper. As always talk to me,
leave a comment and have a wonderful day.
Where to start? That is pretty much always the question. When you start something new, it can seem daunting and overwhelming. Here is how I started meal planning for myself and my husband. It does help that I am a chef and know about nutrition in the capacity of a professional chef.
Change only one type of meal for 3 weeks then add on. Whether its snacks, breakfast, lunch, or dinner, the meal only matters in whatever is easiest for you to stick to. For me I started with lunches.
I looked at what I wanted to do or what my goals were. There are so many people out there that will tell you their way is the best way, and it may be for them. But here is a tip, you’re a biological animal, and as such you are a complex creature. That means what works for one person does not always work for another. I wish it were so. I teach cake decorating and Baking and Pastry, and I often tell my students, that I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and they would all be able to decorate a cake like a pro. However, what is required is experimentation and practice. The same goes for meal prep, and getting into the groove.
There are several ways to meal prep, but here are a few core
things I focus on.
Decide if you are going to count your calories
only, watch/count your macros, or just eat intuitively.
Get yourself a food scale if you are going to
count your calories or macros.
Decide what your goal is: Bulking, leaning,
maintaining or something else
Choose a protein, complex carb, and veggie/fruit
Learn to prepare those things/gather recipes
Get your Tupperware/lunch containers ready.
Weigh and write down what you put in the
containers, so that food entry into a tracker is much easier.
Now to count calories, macros, or eat intuitively. If you
are newly embarking on a fitness journey, you may not be familiar. I will touch
on these subjects to give you an base understanding, and tell you what I do. But first if you are going to count calories
or macros you are going to want to calculate how much your body needs to eat to
function. Here is a great website that will do that for you. It has a calorie
calculator on it, that will give you your total daily energy expenditure or (TDEE).
This is the amount of energy it would take your body to just lay in bed all day
long, respirating, and living. Not getting up and mowing the lawn much less
going to the gym to pump out a few sets.
Here is my recommendation: If you are just starting out. Count your Calories and Macros. The structure will be good for you. I have been doing this for years so I can eyeball some things.
Counting calories, has been done for many many… so many years. It is just that. You log your food, and figure out that a large boiled egg is about 75 calories. The calories in a medium apple is about 95 calories. Add those two together and you get 170 calories consumed for that snack. Simple right? Yup! There is more to nutrition than that of course but that is a good way to get your toes wet as it were. Counting calories alone though falls short, in that you can eat 300 calories of grapes, and 300 calories of doughnuts and it would be basically the same from a numbers standpoint. However, the nutritional value of 300 calories in grapes and 300 calories in doughnuts is extremely different. “
“DOES IT MATTER WHERE MY CALORIES COME FROM? Human metabolism is complex, and gaining or losing weight takes more than hitting your calorie goal. Fat, protein, and carbohydrates all have different nutrient functions in the body, and an effective diet will include at least a little of all three macronutrients.
Protein builds muscle and maintains other body tissue. Fat provides energy, regulates hormone production, and keeps you full. Carbohydrates also provide energy and help you sleep at night.
Theoretically, eating fewer calories than you expend can help you lose weight, but the type of calories you eat influences your results. For example, if you eat very low-carb and have trouble sleeping, your hunger levels could rise and you might struggle to keep your calorie intake low enough to lose weight. Or if you don’t eat enough calories from fat or carbs to power your workouts, you could end up burning fewer calories than you think, because you’re not giving it your all in the gym.”
I could not have said it better. So we know that calories
count and where they come from counts. So now we go to learning what our macros
are. Macros is a over view of what your body needs to run. Macro Nutrients are the
carbs, proteins and fats your body needs. Just as I said earlier the kind of
calorie you take in is important. While bacon is fun to eat and tasty, its
protein and fat content are completely different than say the equivalent amount
of chicken breast.
These are the Macros I need to hit every day to meet my
goals. So not only do I need to make sure I eat enough calories, but I need to
make sure I get this much protein in, and this much carbs in and this much fat
in for my body to function like a well oiled machine.
👇 WOO! YOUR
MACROS ARE BELOW 👇
MY MACROS
2337CALORIES
155PROTEINS
238CARBS
85FATS
Last kind of eating change would
be intuitively eating. It sounds ridiculous at first, but eating when your body
tells you that you need it. It sounds stupid but, we (especially Americans) are
very bad at telling when we are hungry or when we are just having cravings. Do
you want that piece of cheesecake cause you are hungry and skipped a meal, or do
you want it cause you are craving sugar and your body needs protein and healthy
fiber. That is usually my problem I don’t get enough protein given my own
proclivities. I will eat more plant based. I will dedicate a blog post to what
your cravings may mean you need later.
Now you will need a scale, and this is the one I use all the time. It is inexpensive and does what I need it to do. It is call Ozeri.
Now to the meal prep I did… This post has been long enough.
I prepped Sunday night for both myself and husbands,
lunches. Lunches are the hardest meals for both of us to get in. This is the
meal that helps us most to have prepped.
Protien – Chicken, black beans
Carb – brown rice, black beans, veggies
Fat – Chicken, black beans, and oil used in cooking
Southwestern Chicken
Yield 6 servings
Ingredients:
5 x Chicken breast
1 tbs – Mrs. Dash Southwestern Chipotle seasoning
2 tsp – ground cumin
2 tbs – vegetable oil
salt and pepper to taste
Garlic powder to taste
Brown Rice – (Cook as directed on package)
1 can – Black Beans
6 cups – Broccoli and Cauliflower mixed veggies
cherry tomatoes
Directions:
Cook your rice as the directions tell you
chop chicken in to bite size pieces, heat pan up with two tbs of veggie oil. Season chicken and cook till chicken is done.
Cook Broccoli and Cauliflower mixed veggies
Open can of black beans and heat up in sauce pan. I added some garlic powder and a pinch of salt.
Assemble into lunch boxes, I measured each item and wrote it down for easier entry into food tracker.
And last but not least, you will need a food tracker. I use the one that goes with my FitBit watch, but there are free ones out there. One of the best I have heard about is My Fitness Pal.
I track my macros, and this is what I prepared for myself and husband this last Sunday for lunches. I hope this helps if you are just getting started and if you have already been doing this. I hope this gives you an idea of what you can put into your lunches. Its simple just make things you will like to eat.
This has been a long post. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great day!
Fair warning there will be before and after pictures of me. There may be a lot of them… I have yet to decide. I hope I will have a clearer idea at the end of this post. I guess I should.
This will be a up to 2019 post, and I hope to do comparison posts every 3 months or so after this. We will see.
Lets see… I had stopped working out for a good 15 years. Wait no 14 years. I just had to calculate that, and that really is a long time. I estimate I stopped working out around 23 years old. Spring forward to 2014, where I am 33 years old. I have a 5 and a 6 year old. They are finally potty trained and are able to comprehend that Mama does other things than hold them all the time.
I would look in the mirror and hate what I was seeing. Lets be honest… I still hate what I see. I have all my life, but that is neither here nor there. Its very hard to get over your formative years with someone you respect, love and cherish, that calls you names and tells you that you are fat and ugly. When all I wanted to do was make her happy. I could not. I know that now. I know that she is a very angry person and took it out on me both physically and mentally. But all I see is a fat and ugly person in the mirror, even though I have lost 70 lbs. I even saw that person when I was my lightest and wore a size 2 in college.
I digress… lets see here I am at 2014 at 33. Ack ewww…
And here I am, 2018, and 38 years old: Meh…
I started taking photos of myself even though I hate them so that I could see if there was any progress.
Head shots, this was an after workout photo circa 2014. Ack…
And now a photo from just this week. I can see a difference but only when I compare two photos together. I have more visible tattoos and a nose piercing now. Hah!
Now some side photos…
Circa 2014… so cringe worthy… I actually debated putting this up.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
2019, current body shape
Ok at this point, I am debating just deleting this whole blog post. I don’t like my pictures and possible I never will. Why is it so hard to post this? Maybe I feel vulnerable? My little inner demons nipping away at my heels. Saying, “you are ugly and fat, and no one wants to see this.” But this is my progress. Not as far as I would love to be after 4 years., but I have had some setbacks. The kidney stone, cancer being a major one, broken toe, and then herniated disk. I tell my friends to be kind to themselves. Why is it so hard for me to be kind to myself? I strive for perfection I will never have… I guess…
If you got this far in the read, you deserve a metal. You have gotten to see one of my biggest inner brain weasels rear its ugly little head. Thanks for reading.
Thinks with Spinks 