Fitness Progress…2014 to now 2019

Fair warning there will be before and after pictures of me. There may be a lot of them… I have yet to decide. I hope I will have a clearer idea at the end of this post. I guess I should.

This will be a up to 2019 post, and I hope to do comparison posts every 3 months or so after this. We will see.

Lets see… I had stopped working out for a good 15 years. Wait no 14 years. I just had to calculate that, and that really is a long time. I estimate I stopped working out around 23 years old. Spring forward to 2014, where I am 33 years old. I have a 5 and a 6 year old. They are finally potty trained and are able to comprehend that Mama does other things than hold them all the time.

I would look in the mirror and hate what I was seeing. Lets be honest… I still hate what I see. I have all my life, but that is neither here nor there. Its very hard to get over your formative years with someone you respect, love and cherish, that calls you names and tells you that you are fat and ugly. When all I wanted to do was make her happy. I could not. I know that now. I know that she is a very angry person and took it out on me both physically and mentally. But all I see is a fat and ugly person in the mirror, even though I have lost 70 lbs. I even saw that person when I was my lightest and wore a size 2 in college.

I digress… lets see here I am at 2014 at 33. Ack ewww…

And here I am, 2018, and 38 years old: Meh…

I started taking photos of myself even though I hate them so that I could see if there was any progress.

Head shots, this was an after workout photo circa 2014. Ack…

And now a photo from just this week. I can see a difference but only when I compare two photos together. I have more visible tattoos and a nose piercing now. Hah!

Now some side photos…

Circa 2014… so cringe worthy… I actually debated putting this up.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

2019, current body shape

Ok at this point, I am debating just deleting this whole blog post. I don’t like my pictures and possible I never will. Why is it so hard to post this? Maybe I feel vulnerable? My little inner demons nipping away at my heels. Saying, “you are ugly and fat, and no one wants to see this.” But this is my progress. Not as far as I would love to be after 4 years., but I have had some setbacks. The kidney stone, cancer being a major one, broken toe, and then herniated disk. I tell my friends to be kind to themselves. Why is it so hard for me to be kind to myself? I strive for perfection I will never have… I guess…

If you got this far in the read, you deserve a metal. You have gotten to see one of my biggest inner brain weasels rear its ugly little head. Thanks for reading.

Advertisements